“The Day My Daughter Became My Son—And I Became the Parent He Needed Me to Be”
Once upon a time, I had a daughter named Amai. Today, I have a son named Kai. But this isn’t just the story of his transition—it’s the story of mine too. Not in body or identity, but in heart, in understanding, in the way a parent learns to let go of who they thought their child was supposed to be, and instead embraces who they truly are.
When Kai first shared his truth with me, I didn’t instantly arrive at acceptance. I stumbled through confusion. I wrestled with ignorance. I gripped tightly to the image of the child I thought I had. There were moments when fear disguised itself as protection, when denial put on the mask of love. But deep down, something stronger kept calling: real love. The kind that doesn’t flinch in the face of change. The kind that expands instead of contracts.
I realized I wasn’t just watching my child transform—I was being invited to transform alongside him. That meant letting go of outdated ideas, silencing the noise of judgment, and tuning into the truth that had always been there: my kid deserves to be free. Free to live out loud. Free to define himself. Free to walk through this world with the full permission to be.
As a parent, I’ve learned that my job isn’t to mold my children into some version of me or what society expects. My job is to create the space, the safety, and the love that allows them to unfold as they are. I don’t want to raise children who shrink to fit into other people’s boxes. I want them to fly past borders. I want them to be free in spirit, in thought, in identity, and in joy.
Kai didn’t just change his name—he taught me the power of authenticity. He showed me courage. And in doing so, he woke something up in me that I didn’t even know needed waking: the courage to love without condition, without expectation, without fear.
This isn’t about pronouns. It’s about presence. It’s about seeing the soul in front of you and saying, “I’ve got you. I see you. I love you—exactly as you are.”
That’s my journey. That’s Kai’s gift. That’s what it means to be a parent.
